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| comfortably numb, unconcerned, and overfed I've become
a walking waste of a talent grace should have never bestowed
a blatant passing of the time I've been given
till I stumble o'er my own footprints
I take a pause to look up to the same sky
with the same eye that looked at the same sky just a day ago
oh no, is this my cycle of doomed reciprocation
growing further and further and further numb
Jesus
You were my first love
Undone, I come apart to You
Unspun
Untie myself and set free
To Walk off this ledge
To You
No! what kind fool follows this oblong rule
when the norm is pretty blatant through the wear of passing years
should I follow the frosty thought, maybe
Oh God
Oh God
Sweet God
Oh God, I'm so sorry
second guess, create the mess
till I stand alone in a crowded street
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| chillin...yeah
so I'm sitting in my livingroom watching a bit of the tube and just soaking in the knowledge that I'll be at the beach in about 24 hours! I can't wait. I have wanted to do this for quite a while. That's pretty muc it oh yeah and crazy awesome Sound A D show tonight. Check it yo! Oh yeah and I'm learning to tickle the ivories, and K Y says I'm pretty good, but I know she's lying, haha. Either way it's a nice gesture thanks Katie. Later.
amor y paz,
chris | | |
| ....yup that's right I got new ink done! the beginning of a long process. the rocks look great! i feel a bit rockstarish.....
currently listening to the Foo Fighters. I know I'll catch flak for
this (mostly from gnortsmrakram) but I really think that Dave Grohl is
one of the best musicians I have ever heard. he is such an amazing
musician. atleast he inspires me to achieve. you'll hear it soon.
all the things
that i used to think mattered and defined me i have found don't. what
defines me isn't a what, rather a who. He's happy with me. He hates the
tradition as much as i do when it gets in the way. my relationship with
Him is now rated "R". i plan or better yet hope to keep it that way!
i
want to watch Brokeback Mountain really bad, but it's really hard to
find non-homophobic people around here, i mean seriously people it's
not a disease, you can't catch gay. what are you afraid of? and i quote
" I was kissing a person with a soul, not a donkey's ass..." Heath
Ledger [ husband and father]...
am i the only person who
thinks that Trey Parker and Matt Stone are geniouses? i know, i know
it's crude at times, but their messages here lately have amazed
me....seriously
congrats Grooms.....PBC
i recently
discovered my extreme distaste for stupidity, mostly directed towards
anyone who lies to make their own self look good. i can't stand this, i
mean it really pisses me off. for freakin serious, tell the truth you
are just as cool if you tell the truth....so there's my rant for the
moment!
BS128 <----mark do you get this?
kaleo is
doing wonderful. we need more practice, but we're getting tighter. if
you don't know what kaleo is, it's the band that I am in. we just won
the chance to open for the DMB Tribute Band. that'll be April 27th on
the GCSU front campus. this whole band is blessing, and i fell like
riding a wave
i am loosing weight, which if you haven't seen
my stomach here lately, is a good thing. at one time i told someone
that i thought it would be fun to the fat but really good guitar player
in a band someday, and yeah well that was total bull crap! besides i
sing lead, there's a law somewhere that lead singers have to be
attractive or odd looking enough that people still stare, anyway I'm swingin for the happy medium.
moving in about a month now. it's becoming painfully clear how not fun
the moving process will be. i am positive that i will miss the memories
at Trailor Fabulous. i'm moving in with Dallas and Erik, when we
finally get moved in the "O-D-P" begins stop by whenever.
i'm probably getting a Dacshund soon. i heard the other day that his
name is Fritz. which if it is true, i'm glad because it's not easy to
come up with a cool dog name.
Micah will probably be missed a lot this summer...
life is on the up and up, things are coming into perspective. God's
graciously given me time with a lot of friends and the comfort therein
but He's starting to ask more out of me, i think He noticed that my
butt was getting numb. honestly it's a welcomed nudge.
there
is no lady as of right now. bittersweet, but smiling. i don't know, a
relationship would be nice and i deffinately wouldn't refuse it, if
DEVINELY given. but not really searching. but there are still those
daily passing crushes.
found some new friends in new places, and am currently enjoying it. it's amazin how easy it is to be myself.
cool well it's 4:00am and i need sleep so, I'm heading that way but you stay classy San Diego, and thanks for stopping by!
amor y paz [FTWB],
chris [uh-HUH!] | | |
| Father,
here i sit in my room just shy of 2:00am. reviewing life and Your presence therein ( i can't help but smile). i don't know what the next few months hold for me but i'm exited. I love that you are here. tonight kaleo won a battle of bands, in prize we won the opening spot for the DMB tribute band! thank you so much for the talents you have given us. i sit here wanting to read your word and hold it, just he feel of it in my hands brings me to my place. but i can't, i don't have a Bible, so i write You here. i just preached my last sermon and said goodbye to 1015, bittersweet, to say the least. thank you for what you did there. i will never forget how you moved. thanks you again for tonight. i had so much fun to be back where i was created to be. guide me with my next steps, help me to manage my time wisely. i need You, deeply.
"Jesus, Jesus, holy and annointed One, JesusJesus, Jesus, risen and exalted One, JesusYour name is like honey on my lipsYour Spirit like water to my soulYour Word is a lamp unto my feetJesus, I love You, I love You."How beautiful is the simple feeling of Your name on my tongue. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. This seems right, Thank You! amor y paz,
Chris, Your gracious servant
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| passion....it's as thick as blood. you feel it in your throat as you do the knot when you want to cry, and you hold back tears. tonight I passionately want to play the guitar but can't, oddly enough there isn't a single playable guitar at my house right now that I am able to get to. this is ironic considering this is house that, as far as ownership goes, houses five guitars. so passion.... now having been descibed in this way has taken a new form and identity in my life. i currently want to learn, and not just in a psuedo-enough-to-argue-about-something-way, but deep knowledge that ingrains itself. and not only in reference to God though He would be a big part of this knowledge. also how easily hearing or seeing a friend lie in any capacity can change my view of them so quickly, how that's bad and good. right now mostly that has to do with knowing more about God and music. it's funny how when i got my first tattoo, i had no idea how true its meaning actually was (cross and treble cleff). i would rather love God and succeed muically than ever be loved. i know why i was created. but that's not to say that i have arrived, whatever that actually means.....i've only ever heard it in church. anyway, one night i began to ask God to allow me draw closer to Him and grow musically. at the end of our conversation (mine and God's) i looked at the clock, to see what time i had stayed up until, and couldn't see it because there was a bottle in the way, a bottle that i could easily move....i just looked around it....and left it. this went on for a couple of weeks, the looking around the clock that is. the other day i was sitting thinking of how i wanted to grow closer to God, still, yet had done nothing to achieve such a goal... tonight as i was leaving to go to a movie i was thinking about how much i still wanted to be a better musician but hadn't simply taken the time to practice....again i realized the simplicity of my stupidity. God uses everything, i immediately thought of the bottle infront of the clock, and how, to complete the action of fining out what time it was all i had to do was ACTIVELY move the bottle, inessence all i had to do was my part by moving the bottle. honesty, i love it, this is me i suck, am lazy, and desire profit of mothing. failing to plan with the same breath thereby planning to fail.
i've begun discovering the
freedom in being who I am. how much I love to hear the truth, and there
is nothing more beautiful than the hearing of just such a thing. i just read a friends blog where she listed six secrets she had, things that were secrets for a reason. i wondered at the freedom that must have given her to get it in the open, while in the same breath creating fear, at the possible responses. here are mine, feel free to do the same and/or leave comments, i don't really care if they are positive or negative this is honesty, it's not always fun. and this is how i plan to live my life, or attempt, for truth-what better-
1. i love the taste of tobacco, especially in a cigarette
2. i hate living in a college town, where i am a failure for not attending
3. sometimes i wish didn't play music
4. i'd have married her (yeah right like i'll list her name) but i'm glad i didn't
5. i hate talking for more than 2 minutes on the phone
6. my deepest longing is to go to heaven, i want to see my love
wow, that was harder than i thought
amor y paz
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